Time to grow up?

I’m not completely sure when it is that life sneaked up on me. I think that from the time we turn 20 we start asking ourselves when it is that we’ll actually start feeling like an adult. We get referred to as adults in the media, but there is a certain level of responsibility that goes along with that that I never really felt. Someone told me once that it would happen when I had kids. I guess it did to a degree, but not entirely. I am inherently a responsible person that behaves irresponsibly. By that I mean that I’ll never let anyone down, but the path that it takes me to get from one responsible action to the next is probably one that most responsible people would gasp at. The people that know me and choose to be a part of my life know that. I use that as justification.

We went out for a few drinks at a friend’s place yesterday and took the kids. I did what I always do and drank half a bottle of wine in quick succession so that I wouldn’t have to be the driver. Not to suggest that anyone else should have to be. I deliberately bought a car with extra seats when I found out that I was having twins so that it would be large enough for a dial a driver to take us all home. See what I mean? Responsible.

There were other kids there. At one point one of them did something to annoy Hunter. She dealt with it by employing the double-face-rake manoeuvre. Someone laughed and said “she’s such a Hawk”. I didn’t teach it to her! I guess it’s innate. It was a good decision and she got her own way. It didn’t end there though. She spent the next couple of hours stalking the other girl and practicing several other manoeuvres that don’t have names.

In my job I manage a team of ~50 people (albeit volunteers). They were having a discussion in jest recently about delving into people’s pasts. It made me realise that there are probably things in my past which wouldn’t necessarily gel with the person that they call ‘boss’ (they call me that in my head, anyway). And it got me thinking. I have kids but I definitely don’t feel like an adult yet. I make decisions that some people might question. But I make them for the right reasons – although those reasons might not always be obvious to outsiders.

Anyway, I’ve come up with what I consider to be a fairly good litmus test. My dad is 63. I’m going to ask him if he feels like an adult. I’m fairly sure I know the answer. After all, he was a Hawk before I was.