It’s getting hot in here… so take off all your clothes.

Ha! I figure you thought you’d seen the back of me. No such luck. Life is back on a somewhat even keel now that the twins are 6 months old, so I might be able to grab 10 mins every now and then to crap on about nothing.

I’m not planning on always talking about kids. Just today.

It’s been an entertaining week. Entertaining in a stuck-in-the-middle-of-a-mosh-pit-during-a-Slayer-concert kinda way. Pretty much exactly this time last week, I was in the kitchen pureeing up fish. This is a fairly new experience for me, and one that I am glad will have a limited life span. Anyway, I had just turned on the blender when Shaun announced to me that Israel “wasn’t right”. I’m not sure whether it was the monotonous humming or the fact that he was floppy that triggered this announcement, but he was right (Shaun, not Israel). He had a temperature of 40 degrees (Israel, not Shaun).

Holy mother of god.

I jumped in the car and drove him to A&E. You’d think that in the middle of the day on a Sunday there wouldn’t be that many emergencies. But there were. I was told that the wait would be an hour long. After sitting there for 10 minutes I decided that my emergency was more important than everyone elses’ and asked for an ambulance. A doctor came out straight away. They stripped Israel off and pumped him full of paracetomol. We then had to stand naked (Israel, not me) in the carpark. It is the middle of winter here and it was 8 degrees at the time.

I could see people walking past thinking no wonder we were at A&E. It occurred to me that I should probably mention Hunter’s rash. I didn’t realise that the word rash + fever + baby = ambulance. We were taken to Starship (Childrens’ Hospital) where Israel decided that he was fine. After half an hour of watching him eat his lunch, they discharged us with a diagnosis of ‘a virus’. How particularly helpful.

The next day, when said virus made him power chuck in my eye, become unresponsive and pant like a dog, I called the ambulance again. It seemed like the right thing to do… until it arrived. That was shen he decided to start laughing as if nothing had ever happened. We went to the hospital anyway, where he proceeded to scream in pain for three hours while we waited for the doctor. As soon as the doctor arrived, he started chirping and giggling again. He was then diagnosed with… tonsilitis.

I’m not a neurotic mother, but you’d be forgiven for thinking I was.

I think that’s just the nature of the job.