That’s life, but it’s sad.

Life moves to the beat of a different drum for me these days. The beat is one hell of a lot faster than it was. There is no jazz-in-the-sun kinda beat for me any more. It’s more of a thrash metal kinda beat. In the life of a mother of new babies, time is measured in the hours between day-sleeps. From that first waking moment of beaming smiles to the last grizzle of the day, I am watching my babies grow into children.

Every day something new happens. Whether it’s more hair or a new noise, what would probably be the most trivial of things to an outsider now has the ability to make me look at life with a feeling of wonderment that I haven’t felt since I was a child myself.

But I’ve had to say goodbye to things and that’s sad. My friendships have changed. While I haven’t lost any, the nature of my relationships with them has turned a corner. I see my best friends (the ones without kids) every couple of months now, rather than every couple of days. While that’s life, it’s sad.

I’ve had to quit things that used to make up such a huge part of my day. This week I am leaving the staff of Sitepoint – a web community that I’ve been part of for many years now. I have realised lately that I just don’t have the time to commit to it that is required, and that’s not fair on the team that I was leading. Time to move over and let someone else take the reigns. That’s life too, but it’s sad.

I haven’t stepped into the ring for a year now. I haven’t wrapped my knuckles or pulled on my gloves. I haven’t felt the rush that comes with kicking the crap out of someone and I miss it terribly. Again – life. But it’s sad.

I haven’t worn killer heels, or power dressed, or pumped weights, or read the weekend paper. I haven’t worn a sleeveless top (which would call for a strapless bra, and they don’t do those in maternity styles!), or read more than one chapter of a book at a time, or seen a movie.

But as much as I miss those things, they don’t compare to the thrill of opening that nursery door every morning and seeing two beaming smiles looking up at me.

So life is different now. Sometime’s it’s sad, but mostly it’s magic.

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4 thoughts on “That’s life, but it’s sad.

  1. Hey Sarah, yes its sad but it is also something to look forward too! Sure, you haven’t been to the gym – yet, sure you havent been in the ring – yet, sure there are some guys out there breathing a little easier – for now!

    Enjoy the kids as they are cos it goes so quickly, mine are now of the age where I can think about getting back into the gym, onto the piste and competing again – and the big, sweaty heap on the floor at the end of it all!!

    It all comes back to you hun xx

  2. I know you feel sad about leaving the SitePoint staff but you’ve got your hands (literately) full of joy- and we’ll be more sad not seeing you around until you have that time again.

    You were an awesome team leader and don’t you forget it on trips out with the hubby and kids πŸ˜‰

    Still, we’ll have your blog to check for baby-growing-up pics right?

    ..and wanna know why this blog is still worth subscribing to then this line is all the reason there can be:

    “There is no jazz-in-the-sun kinda beat for me any more. It’s more of a thrash metal kinda beat.”

    πŸ˜€

    Keep rockin’ on

  3. Akk why be sad?? Live is about moving forward and experiencing new things. Yes the things you used to do were fun. No arguments there. However, as you are discovering, there is a whole world of new things to discover which are just as much fun and 100 times more rewarding/enriching. At the end of your life wouldn’t have rather experienced as much as possible rather than a few things over and over again?

    Anyway, trust me in that the baby stage passes much too quickly and you start getting more freedom to do other things. As they get a little older there is nothing to stop you having (or going to) dinner parties to keep up with your friends.

    What you get out of life is totally up to you. You are already discovering the joys of parenthood. There are bad sides to it too but then if we only ever did things that had no negative side we’d live very dull lives. πŸ˜‰

    • Thanks for your comments guys, but I think I’ve misconmunicated.
      I was feeling philosophical rather than self-pitying. I know those things will change in the future and I’m very happy with my lot.

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