Well I have rapidly gone from the “this is a dream pregnancy, I’m so lucky” to “holy hell, just get these things out of me!”. Yesterday was a down day. I actually cried for the first time since I thought I was losing the babies back at 7 weeks. I wasn’t crying for any reason other than self pity. I have become couch bound. The swelling has now crippled me.
We had a growth scan yesterday and everything is good to go. The babies are big enough to be born healthy and survive, they may not even need to go into the infant nursery, but even if they did, that’s not a bad thing. They’d be a couple of doors down from me in the hospital and have a 24 hour babysitter that would bring them to me for feeding! But you just have to go with the flow in this game.
I reached the stage yesterday where I even googled natural induction remedies. Castor oil and raspberry leaf tea were looking promising until I considered that fact that I’d have to leave the house to get them. But then I came to my senses. I’ve worked so hard to get here that it’d be not only irresponsible, but the work of a stark raving lunatic to do anything to jeapordise the health of my babies now.
So I’ll remain on my couch and count down the days.
2 weeks and I get to meet these people that I’ve been making. I can’t wait.
Holy mother of god. They did warn me but I didn’t really take it on board. I’ve been SO grateful for how well my pregnancy has been going so far. It’s been a dream. Everyone has twin pregnancy horror stories but from where I’m standing it’s been all good. Until this weekend. That’s when all hell broke loose in the ankle department. Oh, and the wrist department. And the finger department. Pretty much across the board actually.
A few weeks back I’d have fairly swollen ankles by the end of my working day. That is to be expected. What I wasn’t quite so ready for was ankles that are the same width as my calves when I get up in the morning! And carpal tunnels that are so swollen that I sprain my wrists when I roll over in the night. Not that you can really call it rolling. It actually involves getting up onto all fours and flopping onto my other side.
One of the babies has moved right around to under my arm. That is obviously affecting the swelling as my left cankle is always significantly bigger than my right. It was annoying at first because it’s summer here and it’s hot now. I can’t wear any dresses unless they skim the floor. But worse than that, I can’t even wear jandals! Shoes went out the window about a month ago. It’s not that easy to get things done in bare feet. People tend to stare at you in the mall.
So my new strategy is to get up and do whatever needs to be done before 9am. Then I spend the rest of the day with my feet balanced up on a stack of 5 pillows.
Still, I feel like I bitch doing all this moaning. My health is good and the babies are continuing to grow just as they should.
So really, what’s a couple of fat ankles?
I’ve had an interesting couple of days. Yesterday I did something royally stupid but I’ve learned a couple of lessons from it. I have a jailbroken iPhone. I got it before they were supported on our network. We are joined at the hip – at least we would be if it had a hip. Which it doesn’t. Although to be honest, I have enough hip for both of us at present. But I digress.
I had this moment a few weeks back where I realised that if something were to happen to my phone, I would lose not only a years worth of phone numbers, but also a whole lot of notes and calendar appointments. In short, I’d be screwed. So I added to my list of things to do when I finished work ‘figure out how to back up iPhone’. Yesterday I figured I’d give it a go. I know it has to do with iTunes, which until now I have only ever used to maintain my iPods. I plugged my phone in and iTunes told me that there was a software update that it wanted to apply. Seemed like a good idea.
You can’t update jailbroken phones. Everyone knows that. I know that. Now. It’s fair to say that it wasn’t my best work. iTunes dealt with the whole situation by restoring my phone to it’s factory settings, which now of course means that it doesn’t recognise my SIM card. Eeeeeek. I suppose it means it has also cleared the memory, although that remains to be seen.
I had a moment of panic and then called the company that I bought it off, already jailbroken. They have an unlocking service. I figured I’d just get them to do it again. If they were in the country. Which it would seem that they’re not. Bloody hell. I have left two messages with his message service as well as emailing him. I feel like some sort of stalker. I had to leave my home phone number of course, so now I don’t want to leave the house in case he calls! I have a temporary cell now, so I want to call back and leave that number, but there’s only so much stalking I’ll allow myself.
Anyway, some good has come out of all of this. It’s forced me to do a clean out of my SIM card. I know that as far as good things go, that is pretty low down on the scale, but I’m trying to see the bright side here… The temp phone means that I won’t be stranded should I go into labour. It does mean that I wouldn’t have internet access in hospital though. Some people might consider that to be a good thing. I’m not one of those people.
But hell. It’s a phone. The fact that I have two healthy babies growing has made me put things into perspective. There are some things that actually are important in life and phones really aren’t one of them.
Wow. I’m turning all responsible. Who woulda thought it?
Ok, because so many people have asked, I am going to throw my good sense out the window and put my pride on the line. This is what a woman who has just got out of bed and is 32 weeks pregnant with twins looks like…
I can’t believe that skin can stretch that much. I sure as hell hope that it bounces back. It’s the strangest feeling, carrying around two people on your front. I’ve reached the stage where I’d quite like them out so that I can share the carrying. But not for another week or so – I’m enjoying the relaxing too much.
Yesterday my sister had her baby. It was a bit of a surprise as he was 1.5 weeks early and was expected to be late. She had an exceptionally quick labour (my mother only just made it there for the last 5 minutes!!) and all went well. She achieved her goal of a drug free birth and the baby – Luca – is perfect.
It gave me a bit of a fright though. Mary and I are diametrically opposed when it comes to birth plans. I want as many drugs as they’ll give me from the second I enter that hospital. I am having an elective c-section (for medical and safety reasons only). The fact that Mary laboured so fast made me realise that there is a possibility that if my waters break early, I may have to naturally birth the first twin, and then have an emergency c-section for the second. The worst of both worlds!!
Oh well, I’ve learned like everything with pregnancy, you just have to sit back and take it as it comes. There really is not much you can control and there is no point in trying – it just gets distressing.
At the end of the day, I couldn’t care less how my babies are delivered, provided the three of us come out of it healthy.
I think I’m in heaven. I’m sure this is what heaven is going to be. Sunny days with no job to go to. I wake up in the morning and ask Shaun to look out the window and tell me what the weather is like. If it’s grey, I lie in for an extra half an hour. Yup, this is definitely heaven.
Short lived heaven though. One month and then all hell breaks loose…
It’s a strange feeling, this maternity leave thing. I am torn between loving every second and guilt. When Shaun gets up in the morning and puts on his suit, I feel lazy. The fact that I no longer have suits (or any clothes other than Homer Simpson muu-muus) that actually fit is beside the point. I have never just done nothing in my life. Even when I’m home sick I clean the kitchen.
Last night I slept badly. While I was lying awake, instead of getting distressed I thought ‘What the hell? It’s not like I actually have to do anything tomorrow. I’ll just put off my shopping until Wednesday…’. I saw my specialist yesterday and he suggested that I do all my nesting asap because he gives me two weeks before I’m couch bound. Make that outdoor hammock bound. When he said it I must have looked shocked. He clearly has no idea how much nesting I was planning on doing. I have 15 years worth of tasks lined up. I have to check that none of the cans in our emergency survival kit have rusted, and clean the skirting boards with a toothbrush, and reshape the bushes in the front garden back into balls, and order all my baby clothes into sizes. These things can’t just be ignored!
My sister has been on maternity leave for a few weeks now and has pointed out to me that it can become quite lonely. We have set up a morning Skype date to give our days some structure. No doubt it will be valuable in the future, but for now it is one of the million tasks that I have lined up each day. I’m still in doing-coffee-with-the-girls mode.
Yup, I’m pretty sure this is heaven. I should have gotten someone to knock me up years ago.
I thought today would be an emotional day. I was prepared for it to be. But no… I feel nothing but relief.
Today is my last day of work. I’ve been with this company for almost 13 years. It’s the only company I’ve ever worked for on a full time basis and for the most part I’ve loved it here. I’ve made amazing friends and learned amazing lessons. I’ve seen eras come and go, both here at work and in my own life, but I’ve always come up that same driveway 5 days a week.
For the last couple of months I’ve been restless. Once the line was drawn in the sand I started mentally preparing myself to leave. As my body has become more cumbersome and the business has started functioning without me I’ve become less connected with this part of my life and more ready to move on to the next part.
I started counting down the weeks a while back. I think it was at around the 14-Mondays-to-to mark. Suddenly it was 1-day-to-go. I always thought that when I left this place I’d be sad. This morning I did the ‘last time I drive up this driveway’ thing, followed by the ‘last time I walk through this door’ thing, followed by the ‘last time I boot up my PC’ thing, but… nothing. I just can’t wait.
I have some feelings of guilt about the fact that I’ll not be working for the next 5 weeks before the babies come. But the fact that I’m bordering on crippled now makes it a no-brainer.
So after my farewell lunch I’ll be coming back to the office to pack up my desk. More than a decade of stuff packed into a small box.
And then I’ll do the ‘last time I drive down this driveway’ thing.
And start my new life.
I will be SO glad when the weekend comes and our election is over. I am sick to death of politics. Until yesterday I was more sick of American politics than our own. I have been getting increasingly scared and angry at the attitude of some of the extremist groups who are targetting Obama. Seriously – he’s an undercover terrorist? How stupid are you people? And then there was the guy that said he has enough white in him to make him smart? I don’t like using the word hate, but it’s what I feel towards asses like that. How can ANYONE be stupid enough to think that skin colour affects intelligence? Something has certainly affected theirs…
Then last night I was watching the news and I was confronted by equally as sickening prejudice. Our leader of opposition decided to take a couple of ex-rugby players down into south Auckland, which is typically a Labour stronghold. It was a cunning plan and one that was working. The interviewer asked one of these rugby stars why he doesn’t like the Labour party. He announced that he is a good christian and that they promote anti-christian values by passing bills like the legalisation of prostitution and the civil union bill (gay marriage). What the hell? What kind of christian values does he have? The kind that says that some people are better than others because of something that they can’t help? Or the kind that takes the moral high ground and judges others for choices that they make?
It scares and saddens me that there are people in this world that think they are better than others.