Last night I survived my first social situation involving lots of alcohol whilst being pregnant. I’ve planned this pregnancy carefully so as to do it over winter while people are hibernating. I know from past experience that I don’t do well in situations where drinking is rife and I am sober. Aside from the fact that I quickly get annoyed by people, everyone is always so shocked to see me drinking water that they go on and on and on about it – another thing I’m not particularly good with.
Unfortunately though, being preggers over winter doesn’t mean that people stop having birthdays. I considered asking them but there’s only so much demanding people will put up with and I figure I’m better off saving mine up until I have babies.
So last night was the birthday dinner of one of my best friends. It was a small affair of around 20 people. Due to my hibernation, most of them hadn’t seen me since my slightly more svelte days, so it was rather a shock when I walked in looking like I’d been eating for months (which I have – but it looks like I’ve been eating big things. Like babies). So I got past the volley of “Oh my gods” and “Wow, I can’t believe it” and then the round of “Twins? Are you kidding?” followed by my favourite one – “But you look great!”. Well… thanks, but next time can you try and take the stunned surprise out of your voice?
So things went quite well. I drank water and everyone else knocked back wine. My friends were great – they didn’t make comments about not letting the fat girl in the photos, or keep asking me how it feels to be sober, or talk in detail about people they know that had disasterous birthing experiences. I was actually enjoing myself. I was quietly proud. I can do this! I can have fun sober! Perhaps I really am maturing! I’m going to be a great mother!
People kept trying to make me sip their wine. That interested me. Were they testing my willpower? I started trying to get them to sip my water. They soon tired of the game. It’s like telling the Jehovah’s Witnesses when they come to your door that you have some pamphlets you’d like to show them.
As the evening wore on, I noticed everyone getting louder. Little things started to annoy me. Shaun would put his cellphone in my handbag and then 5 minutes later decide he needed it and dig around under my chair for about 10 minutes looking for it. That process was repeated about once every half hour. I finally decided it was home time when his ‘talking’ got so loud that I got that kind of hum in my ear that you get after rock concerts.
I drove home feeling very proud of myself.
Shaun was obviously very proud of himself as well because he sat up in the middle of the night and said loudly “Nice one Shaun”.