Into the wild

There is something about alcohol that turns even the most mild mannered men into wild beasts. I’m not even talking about deliberate behavior. The semi-conscious stuff is just as bad (although significantly more entertaining at times).

This weekend we had people staying so Shaun had a drinking buddy. He’s been pretty light on it lately (and he was a lightweight to begin with!) so I guess his resistance is down. I’m not one of those wives that thinks my husband should quit drinking for 9 months just because I have (those women are masochists) but it’s just not the same drinking alone, so he hasn’t really been.

He had a couple of drinks after work on Thursday night and for some reason decided to chase them with a few bourbons when he got home.  When he drinks bourbon he falls asleep on the couch – without fail. And without fail I leave him there. It means I get a headstart and can fall asleep before the snoring starts. It’s been particularly cold of late though, so when I woke up at 2am and he still wasn’t in bed I got up to wake him. I shook him and told him that he was on the couch. He sat up with glowing red eyes and screamed “I’m on the WHAT?”

“The couch” I said.

“The WHAT?” he repeated.

“The couch.”

He looked panicked and screamed “Whose couch?”

I turned off the light and left him to it. Next time I’ll tell him to jump back in the boat before he drowns.

On Saturday night he drank even more. He came to bed at about 1am with the cat. After 15 minutes of tolerating it sitting on my face (the cat) I asked him to take it out. He told me he was. Coulda fooled me. That conversation was repeated 3 times before I took the bloody thing out myself. Then typically, I couldn’t get back to sleep. The snoring started up and continued to get more and more ridiculous until the neighbours could have been forgiven for thinking I had a wildebeast holed up in the house. No amount of clapping in his face, pushing him over or gently planting my fist in his kidneys seemed to have any affect at all.

I decided to read my book until I got tired again. At 3am I realised that wasn’t going to happen so I got up and did a week’s worth of work.

I wasn’t very nice to him yesterday.


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