Well bloody hell, I’ve had a bit of a shocker. Actually, I’ve kinda come right now, but it’s been an unpleasant experience.
I’m quite proud of my vege garden. I put seeds into the ground and stuff grows. Then I harvest it and declare myself a bean farmer. Or a carrot farmer. Or a capsicum farmer. Or in this case, a chilli farmer. My chilli plant is something beautiful to behold. It is covered in amazing green chillis which go red almost before my eyes. In the weekend I picked a few and put them in the fridge. I’ve cooked with them before, so I know that they’re pretty hot, but it would seem that some are hotter than others.
Last night I was putting some stuff into the slow cooker for dinner tonight (I’m quite the house wife). The recipe called for dried chillies. It clearly wasn’t written by a chilli farmer. I split open one of my prize chillis and used my fingers to pick the seeds out. That was my mistake. It felt a bit like the underneath of my fingernails were on fire. I ignored it and continued, figuring it would pass. It didn’t. When I finished preparing dinner I scrubbed my hands with soap and cold water and they started feeling ok.
I went to my office and did some work. At one stage I must have touched my mouth because with every minute that past it got hotter and hotter. After about an hour I thought perhaps someone had lit a fire on my lips. In my attempt to feel what was going on I accidentally touched my tongue, which joined in on the raging inferno. I managed to ignore them for the rest of the evening (although it wasn’t easy) until I washed my face before bed. Somehow I touched one of my eyelids, which immediately melted off.
I went to bed. It would appear that I slept with my hands in my mouth as I woke up this morning with a forest fire raging in my throat. Still, not one to complain, I went about my business.
Then this morning happened. I went to the gym and then showered. So far so good. I was getting used to my poison fingers and managed to keep them away from all other parts of my anatomy. Until my brain went on holiday just around the time that I went to insert my contact lenses.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
Let’s just say it’s a good day for wearing glasses.