I’m turning into a girl

For the last week I’ve been undergoing a transformation and I can’t say that I like it. I’m turning into a girl. An unfit girl. I can’t believe that some people live like this! I’m finding it a real struggle to get to the gym. Boxing is almost impossible and I’m thanking the gods of kickboxing that my trainer is out of the country for a month, because the thought of training is almost more than I can bear. Not to say that I’m not still going every day. I haven’t missed a workout yet – it’s just that they seem to sap me of all my energy. It’s a weird, weird thing.

If anyone has ever thought about jumping in the ring with me, now would be the perfect opportunity.

I’m finding myself heading to bed at 10pm and turning the light straight off without reading. I slept in until 7am on Sunday morning. I’m looking forward to this evening because I can go home and sit on the couch. What the hell is happening to me?

I’m assuming it’s a side effect of the drugs I’m shooting into my gut every evening. My mum would say that it’s good practice for pregnancy. What the hell? The scary bit about it is that it seems to be screwing with my anti-seizure drugs. When I first started taking them I was very aware of every time that my body wanted to seize. Then I’d feel the drugs kick in and nothing would happen. Right now I’m feeling that the control those drugs have is pretty bloody tenuous. On Monday, right in the middle of a particularly gruelling session of squat jumps, I lost control of my legs. Luckily I regained it before hitting the ground, so disaster was averted. But I have to say that it’s making me nervous. Just one seizure means no driving for 12 months.

So today is self care day. I’m going to spend it looking after myself. I’m seeing the acupuncturist at lunchtime and getting a facial after work. Surely between the needles and the clay they’ll be able to sort me out.

And after work I’m heading home to not do my work. I’m going to lie on the couch and remember what it used to be like in the good old days when I was an exercise machine.

Like last week.

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