At the moment I am not feeling particularly motivated at work. And by not particularly motivated, I mean not motivated at all. I come into the office in the mornings and just go through the motions. It’s not like I’m tired or jaded or need a holiday. I’ve just come back from one! It’s not even like I need a new project. I have a couple lined up that under usual circumstances I would be excited about.
I think it’s just that I’ve lost momentum after a decade of sitting at the same desk, talking to the same people, doing the same sort of work. I’m thinking about changing the photos on my wall in an attempt to trick myself into thinking I’ve changed environments. You know what they say about change and holidays…
There are times when I go to the bathroom when I don’t need to go, just because I’ve lost interest in whatever it is that I am supposed to be doing. I hate being bored. In fact, it’s perhaps the thing I hate the most in the world. I’m wondering if perhaps I should wear my superman t-shirt with the cape attatched tomorrow, just to instigate some excitement. It’s hard not to feel excited in a cape.
I come into the office in the mornings and do my daily admin tasks. That takes half an hour. It’s about then that the complacency sets in. I have considered that perhaps it’s time for a career change, but the fact that I’m trying to have children makes that a bit of a issue. You have to have been in a job for 12 months in order to get maternity leave. And there’s not much point in starting something new only to leave a few months later. It’s not really fair on the employer either.
So I’m resigned to the fact that this is it until I get knocked up. Don’t get me wrong – there are days when I love my job. It’s a fun environment and I like the people that I work with. I’m just bored.
Bored, bored, bored.