Yesterday was quite a strange day for me. It was the result of a few things.
Firstly, I am going through a ridiculously busy period. I am working to an unrealistic deadline at my day job. The project is huge and every possible hurdle seems to be throwing itself in my way. My company is also crazy busy. It would seem that everyone has urgent jobs that need to be done. That’s fantastic for business, but the timing sucks. On top of that, I have an extra heavy Youthline schedule at the moment. There are lots of new trainees that are trying to become solo counsellors, and as a mentor, the demand on my time is huge.
So that stuff is mostly out of my control.
The second reason for the strangeness was due to something that was very much my own doing. After detoxing my body of alcohol and caffeine for the last month, I dosed myself up on coffee yesterday. I think I only had three, but I may as well have ingested an entire gram of methamphetamine. I was speeding for the entire evening. Due to the edginess that created, I was feeling really overwhelmed by my life.
After work I was went down to the bar to do the flowers before Youthline – my normal Wednesday routine. I decided to hide out down there for half an hour where there was no one to make demands of me. The boys gave me a new wine to try. One glass may as well have been one bottle. Add boozed to wired. (I wish I had’ve known about this detoxing trick years ago – talk about a cheap party!)
By that stage I was feeling that strange kind of anxiousness that can come about from too much coffee. That sort of adrenaline-ised weirdness. I got to Youthline and had one of the strangest evenings I’ve ever experienced there. It was heavy in a surreal kind of way. I kept waiting for the world to explode. Thankfully it didn’t.
I went home and read for hours because I couldn’t sleep. This morning I woke up tired so I’ve had two coffees already. I have to put a stop to this.
Tomorrow I’m back on the wagon.