Almost 5 years ago, my brother broke up with a girl. She was an unusual person. Significantly older than him. A buddhist vegan. In the 3 years they were together I only met her a handful of times. She didn’t want to break up. Not at all. She dragged it out over several months.
A couple of weeks after the breakup she called to tell him that she was pregnant. She decided to terminate the pregnancy, much to his relief. Then another month on, she called again to say that she had changed her mind and that she was going to have the child after all. My brother was devastated – they hadn’t talked without fighting in ages, but that aside, he wasn’t ready for kids. It seemed so incredibly unfair that she had all the rights and he had none. The decisions were all hers, and her choice to have the child was going to affect Dave profoundly for the rest of his life.
Once the child was born things changed. It was no longer ‘a baby’, it was Dave’s son. My nephew. He was gorgeous. But she wasn’t. She was unbelievably awful. Her possessiveness of the child was scary. He would sleep in her bed with her. He was her ‘best friend’.
She started witholding him from our family. She wouldn’t let my mother see him at all. She said that mum once tried to ‘snatch’ him from her while she was holding him. She says mum was cold to her because she wasn’t up to her standards. She says a whole lot of unbelievably cruel things that simply aren’t true. I don’t know whether she believes them in some twisted way, or if she is just bitter about the fact that Dave didn’t want to remain in a relationship with her.
It’s breaking my mother’s heart. He is her first grandchild and not only is she not allowed to see him, but she is being personally attacked by his mother. Things have gotten so bad in the past that mum has spent $1k flying down country to see him, hired a car, driven to their house at the agreed time, only to find that no one is home. That is beyond cruel.
The motivation for this post is a letter she sent to mum the other night, telling her that her son has 4 grandparents (she has since married) and that there is no room in his life for her interfering (or for the rest of us apparently). He has a new father, David is just David.
Good on you lady. Deprive your kid of our love. You clearly fill his love quota.