Liar liar pants on fire

One of my friends found out recently that her boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind her back. He’s effectively been living a double life. My immediate reaction was one of disbelief. He seemed so completely in love. Admittedly their relationship has been slightly rocky, but that is usually as a result of her not knowing what she wants, not him.

He is older than us and is feeling pressure to settle down. She wasn’t certain that he was the person she wanted to do that with, but she like having him around. He looked after her and it was an easy option. I guess he started looking elsewhere.

Once her initial anger wore off, she listened to his story. It gave her a shock. It gave us all a shock. During a period of being separated, he met this other woman. She is a single mother who lives a simple life out west. She worships the ground that he walks on. She is looking for a man that wants to get married and live a quiet life. She has no financial expectations of him. She doesn’t care what he wears or what his manners are like. She just loves him.

Huh? It began to sound as though he wasn’t getting those things from my friend. And it’s true. He wasn’t. She, like me and the rest of our friends, have always considered ourselves low maintenance. And we are. We are right at the bottom end of a very high maintenance circle. We take for granted the things that we have. We just expect things.

We have never stopped to think about the kind of pressure that those expectations must put on a man. As women we feel like we get a raw deal with trying to juggle careers and children and fertility and body image issues and all those sorts of things. We think that men have it easy. But I guess they don’t.

The reason he was seeing this other woman was because she loved him for who he was, not what he could provide. He was feeling pressure to earn a certain income and buy a certain type of birthday gift and drive a certain type of car. As soon as the truth came out, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He quit the high paying job that he hated. Now he can find something that he actually likes doing.

Hell, who could blame a man for running for the hills? It’s certainly made me think.


9 thoughts on “Liar liar pants on fire

  1. Wow. You didn’t completely favor the chick this time.

    All chicks are high maintenance though, but I’m glad he found one that’s less high maintenance than normal. Good for him.

  2. I can completely relate to this. Just before I met my wife I was seeing a girl who seems very much like your friend. She was forever warning that she didn’t want us to get “serious” and forever trying to change my choice of clothes etc.

    Then I met my wife who was the opposite of this girl. Very natural, no bullshit, down to earth. In this case though we became friends first and just being friends with her helped me decide that the current GF really wasn’t what I wanted and I did the usual guy trick of pretending to loose interest in her which of course meant she immediately dumped me. (Trust me it sounds sneaky but its easier this way. Girls don’t handle being broken up with well and can become very vindictive).

    Anyhow, to cut a long story short five months later I was engaged to my wife. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And neither of us has had a moments regret in the 17 years we’ve been married.

  3. Trust me it sounds sneaky but its easier this way. Girls donโ€™t handle being broken up with well and can become very vindictive.

    Hey! This is my blog and I’m a girl! You should have said SOME girls don’t handle being broken up with. For the record, I’m still friends with pretty much every boyfriend I ever had.
    If I loved them enough to have a relationship with them I sure as hell love them enough to be friends…
    Besides, who wants to be remembered for the breakup? Some legacy that is.

  4. Hehe okay I stand corrected. Not “every” girl handles being broken up with badly but you have to admit that it’s the majority. I’ve managed to stay on friendly terms with girl’s who’ve broken up with me but the ones where I initiated the break I had to end up avoiding because of the resultant abuse I got from them “and” their friends.

    And it’s been no different for any of my friends. My poor son who’s 13 has just endured a couple of months of name calling and physical threats because he broke up with his first girlfriend. Hell it got to the point where I had to speak to the school about it. It got very bad for him as he was being literally pushed around by a group of girls and he couldn’t lift a finger to stop them. (We’ve always taught him not to hit girls but even so it would be social suicide for him to fight a girl)

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