It’s your truth, not mine.

Sunrise over Auckland

This morning there was the most amazing sunrise. This photo doesn’t do it justice. It looked like the sky was on fire. Looking at it made me feel happy to be alive. I was having my shower thinking that today is going to be a great day. I’m at a good place in my life and I’m grateful for what I have.

Then I sat down at my desk and started my daily routine. I checked one of the forums that I am staff on and discovered a personal attack by a friend. I figured that he must have been kidding, because it was so weird. I asked him. He wasn’t. So I asked him why on earth he decided to attack me out of the blue, first thing in my morning, for no reason at all. (He says I’ve changed as a result of being on the staff. He says I’ve ‘sold out’.) He said that telling the truth isn’t an attack.

It’s not even the truth. It’s his personal opinion. It’s like when someone has one of those days when they’re not looking their best. (I’ve heard that other people have those.) Is there anything to be achieved by telling them? All it serves to do is upset them. It certainly doesn’t make them look better. It’s cruel, thoughtless and self-serving.

The effect it had on me was so profound that it shocked me. I felt this huge ball of rage and disgust inside of me. I briefly entertained tears, but the anger was bigger. I’m not pissed that he has that opinion – that’s his right. I’m hurt and angry that he would choose to publicly attack me over something that is so trivial. If it’s an issue for him, why not email me?

I was grateful to have an appointment with my physiotherapist just now. It gave me a chance to get away from my computer and cool off.

Now I’m still hurt, but the rage has subsided.

He almost ruined my day, but in order for that to happen I’d have to let him.


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