This white girl can’t dance

I am a bad dancer. I have always been a bad dancer. I have no natural sense of rhythm. As a teenager I was part of a dancing troupe for a couple of years. I was always hidden WAY down the back where I couldn’t be seen. Or I was the ‘very important’ character in the show that had to run across the stage once, never to be seen again. Because that’s what I’d do. Run. There is just no dance in me.

At my gym there is one fitness class that I won’t do. Yup, you heard it here folks. There is a fitness class that I WON’T do. It’s called BodyJam. They describe it as a ‘dance cardio workout’ and that is exactly what it is. I tried it once for 5 minutes. After flailing my arms around for a while in what appeared to be an attempt to save myself from drowning, I noticed that people were staring at me. I skulked out, never to return.

For all of my dancing disasters, one thing I can do it keep in time to music. It never really occurred to me that anyone couldn’t. This morning in Step class it became apparent that some people can’t. There was a woman in front of me who appeared to be working out to an entirely different set of songs. She wasn’t just getting the routines wrong, she was jumping when no one else was. It was hilarious. Especially when she would do this purposeful march around her step about 20 seconds after everyone else had.

There is a guy at Bootcamp that has similar issues. He can’t keep in time to counting. When we do things ‘in cadence’ we have to count out loud. Like with star jumps. You count out loud when your arms go in the air. He counts in between our counts. How can he not notice? He does it every time. He never gets told off though. I do. For laughing.

Every time actually. I guess I’m the idiot.


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