Recruit Hawk Taylor

This morning at 0600 hours I was leading my platoon through rough terrain. It was cold. It was dark. It was wet.

OK. Truth be told, it was Boot Camp and we were down at the local reserve. There was dew on the grass and the sprinklers were on. I have no idea how I became platoon leader. I think it’s because I laughed when they told us that we had to tuck our tshirts in. I didn’t make a good first impression. We were doing drills and they were trying to make us march through the sprinklers. I was doing my best to avoid them. We got punished. I have some ground to make up if I want the platoon to like me.

The first day was Saturday. It was the fitness test. I was nervous due to the still unhealed holes in my abdomen. The test consisted of pressups, situps and a 2.4km run. I blitzed the first two, but the run was a different story. It became apparent after the first couple of metres that running is excrutiating. It feels like some lasered part of my gut is pulling loose. I discovered that it is survivable if I push really hard on the sore bit and hold it there. It makes for a pretty exhausted left arm. It was ok though – I made it in 11 minutes.

Today we were running again. I was holding my guts in when the sergeant screamed “Have you got something in your pocket Recruit Hawk Taylor?”
I screamed “No.”
Him “Then what are you holding onto?”
Me “My guts.”
Him “Why? Have you got a problem with them?”
Me “Yup.”
Him “What kind of problem?”
Me “I had surgery last week.”
Him “Holy shit. What the hell are you doing here?”

He left me alone after that.

So I think it’s going to be fun, but there is no doubt that I’m going to stuggle with the regimentation and the subordination of it all. Still, I guess that’s why I signed up.

On an unrelated note, something hilarious almost happened this morning. I have two insurance claims on the go. One for my surgery and one for Les’s life insurance. I sent the one off for my anaesthetic today and then I noticed a note on my desk explaining which claim it is part of. I thought that was strange since I was sure I remembered stapling that note to the claim. I retrieved it and opened it up. There was a note attatched saying “Please cancel this policy after this final claim for half the cost of a replacement for the insured.”

That would have confused the hell out of them.

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