I’m back from my week in Canada and to be honest, I’m feeling a bit down about things. I don’t have that post holiday high that you sometimes get. It’s not because I didn’t have a great time – in fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I had the greatest time. I think that’s why I’m down. You know that feeling when you spend a really intense time in a foreign environment with people and then suddenly you are dumped back into your normal life and routine? I feel a little lost and lonely.
Shaun is away in Germany for a week so I’m knocking around in the house alone. I’m not good with my own company at the best of times, but right now it’s worse than usual. It’s nice to get some sunshine – it’s just not practical to strip down when the temperatures are sub-zero. Aside from that, I would’ve loved to have stayed on for longer.
I’m walking around in a kind of right-on-the-edge-of-tears mode. I’m not used to feeling this vulnerable and I don’t like it. I’m guessing that people are picking up on it because I’m getting the feeling that my friends are rallying around to keep me busy.
Little things are seeming like big things and bigger things are seeming irrelevant. This morning I opened a bag of coffee beans that they flew all around the room. That made me cry. Then I couldn’t get the lid off a bottle. That made me cry. Then I backed my car into a lamp post. I couldn’t care less.
I guess it’s jet lag, re-aclimatisation and lack of sleep, but I’m used to being in control of my emotions and today I’m just not.
Still, tomorrow’s a new day. Onwards and upwards.