Collateral damage

The fallout from this weekend was worse than usual. On Friday night we had our work Christmas party. The theme was Wild West. Things went pretty well. I did have a couple of moments. The one that stands out was when I set up a line of men to hide behind in order to shoot our General Manager in the eye with a high powered water pistol. We have never gotten on that well (I was going to say we’ve never seen eye to eye).

Things got interesting when the security staff started throwing people out for being intoxicated. For some reason they decided that they needed to run each decision by me first. Yeah, right – ’cause I’m a great person to make calls on intoxication.

So after the party we ended up down at Suite (for a change). And once again, I got bitten. This time by a girl. It was completely unprovoked. I wasn’t even talking to her. This time it is on the other arm. My entire tricep has gone black. It’s fairly obviously a bite mark so I’m not even lying about it.

The biggest mystery of the night is what time I got home. I remember feeling really self-righteous at 4am when I said to Dave that I thought I’d head off. He suggested that it was a great idea. So the confusion arises from the emails that I sent at 7am. I either took the long way home or spent 3 hours doing some ‘computing’ before going to bed. It pays not to think about it.

The biggest disaster of the night is the fact that I have somehow contracted a chest infection and laryngitis. At one stage during the evening I went to say something and nothing came out. My voice hasn’t been back since. Everyone else is loving it but it’s driving me crazy.

I’m going down to the bar after work to see if I can find it.


2 thoughts on “Collateral damage

  1. Missing time is a phenomenon that is commonly associated with alien abduction. Alien abduction, in turn, is a common occurrence in New Zealand. It is believed that aliens use sheep to power their space craft, hence their attraction to the land under the land down under.
    You should check the back of your neck for any strange incisions or lumps. There might be an implant which could make you act wildly and strangely, which would be a particularly insidious set of symptoms in your case since they would not indicate that anything is out of the ordinary or unusual, until it is too late of course.
    Also pay close attention to whether there are any sensations anywhere that may indicate that a probing has taken place. You can use your index and middle finger to check for tender spots. If you would like further personal assistance on this matter you can contact me at IAmATrainedProfessional [ at ] therandomidiot . com .

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