Basking in the warmth

One of my girlfriends is moving in with her man in a couple of weeks. She is so excited about it. I remember that feeling, although it feels like forever ago. I remember saying to Shaun at the time that we have to hold onto it because it may well be the last time either of us gets to experience it. And it would seem that I was right.

I don’t mean to say that relationships lose any of their energy or beauty, they just lose some of that wow-I’m-walking-on-air-and-look-how-beautiful-the-whole-world-is feeling and get more of a I’m-well-loved-and-protected one.

We spend our developing years learning that we should be looking for a partner to spend out lives with. We watch our parents do it. They teach us about love and monogamy. Books and movies tell us that there is one person out there that is perfect for us and that we need to find them.

I feel blessed to have found mine, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a bit jealous of my friend and the fire that is in her life right now. No matter how much you try and recreate that with someone, I’m just not sure that it’s possible. Once you know someone as well as you know yourself, it’s more like watching the fire from the rug.

Still, there’s nothing like feeling the warmth without being scared of getting burned.

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Trying my patience

I’ve been getting a bit (more) impatient (than usual) with people lately. There are times when frankly, I feel like running up behind them and punching them (normal punching, not the donkey kind…). Several things have prompted it.

The main one is parking.

Parking in Auckland city has been a nightmare for years. If your office is in the middle of town and you don’t have onsite parking, chances are you’ll be paying $40 or so a week for a park. We are really lucky at my work. The company is big enough to take up a whole building, so all the adjacent parking belongs to us. Until about a month ago there were enough parks for everyone. Suddenly that’s not the case.

The business is expanding quickly and more and more staff are being taken on. Apparently they each own 5 cars and somehow manage to drive them all in each day. That means that as well as all the parks being full, people are parking in every single tiny square inch of available space, making it incredibly hard to get around.

I’m actually OK with that. What I’m not OK with is getting parked in. I get to work really early so I always get a spot. If I need to go out for lunch though, things get messy. Last Wednesday I had boxing at lunchtime. I came down to leave and there were 5 cars parking me in. One by one I called the phone numbers on the business cards in their windows but got no response from 3 of them. What the hell is the point of putting your card there then? I was fuming…

It blows me away that people could be so thoughtless.

Anyway, that’s enough of the angry and pointless rant. I’m off to buy a monster truck.

Burning your face off

I’ve blogged lots about how dangerous the sun is here in NZ. I’ve also talked about dad having melanoma and how scary that is. Right now he is battling a cancer on his forehead. It’s not quite as bad as it sounds, but it certainly looks pretty awful.

He has had every technique under the sun to remove them in the past. Some are more successful than others. Now they have come up with a new one that is supposed to be the safest and least invasive in the long run. In the short term it is bloody awful though.

This new treatment involves using a topical ointment on the site of the cancer. I am not completely sure how it works, but it somehow changes the nature of the cells so that they kill the cancer. It looks like it’s burning a hole in his face though. You need to apply the cream every day for 6 weeks. It’s been about 4 so far and as time passes, the burning is looking worse and worse. It looks like he’s had a bad accident and fallen on his face.

Dad is such a sweet, self-effacing person that is always so busy asking other people how they are that he forgets it’s even there. I watch people staring at it and he doesn’t even seem to notice. I feel like jumping in and explaining, but then you go down the whole oh-my-god-cancer road and that’s just not dad’s style.

Anyway, enough of my moaning. Dad isn’t.

I wonder what you’re doing today

Today is the anniversary of the death of my nan. I have mixed feelings about it. I have had people that I love die before their time and I know that gut wrenching feeling of loss that is associated. That oh-my-god-it’s-so-unfair sort of feeling. With nan it wasn’t like that. I remember when I was about 15 she told me that she was ready to die. She didn’t mean it in a self-pitying way, she was just tired and didn’t want to be old. She was sick of watching her friends die. I remember feeling so incredibly sad about it at the time. As it turned out, she lived for another 15 years.

The last 5 of those years were hardly what you would call good. We did everything we could to make sure she had the best possible quality of life, but she was diagnosed with bladder cancer and her deterioration was cruel and terrible. It was like watching the life being leached out of someone.

One of the things that I loved the most about nan was her positivity. Even when she couldn’t get out of bed to use the bathroom without help she would joke about it. It’s hard to be dignified when life is stripping you of your dignity.

When death finally came it was a relief, not only for nan, but for those of us that had watched her suffer for so long. It took many, many weekends for me to stop subconsciously planning when I was going to make my weekly visit to her.

Now I see the fresias in the garden or hear someone whistling and wonder what she’s doing now. Whatever it is, I’m glad it’s not hurting any more.

Walking the line

I always get annoyed with people who think that it’s ok for them to drive drunk as long as they are going somewhere where there won’t be cops. If they were going somewhere where there wouldn’t be other cars, pedestrians or animals then that’s fine – they’ve only got themselves to kill. Otherwise it’s selfish and just plain wrong.

Having said that, I suspect that I drive over the limit on occasion. If I go out to dinner and have a couple of wines, or if I have a couple of beers on a Friday afternoon in the boss’s office, I guess I may be cutting it fine. It’s easy to preach…

Anyway, last night I got a fright and I’m going to make sure I learn from it. I had a hard training session and then went out to dinner and played corporate wife. The waiter recommended a new wine that they had just brought in. It’s low alcohol (well, for wine. It’s 8%). I figured I’d give it a try, although I did make some loud ridiculous comments about preferring my wine high alcohol.

Usually when we go out, Shaun drives, so I never think about how much I drink. Last night I had 3 glasses of wine (I was rehydrating after training) and then remembered that I had my car. I got about 500m up the road onto the motorway onramp when I got stopped at a checkpoint and breath tested. It’s fair to say that I was crapping myself.

As it turns out, I was fine. The cop didn’t comment at all. I drove off feeling pretty sheepish though.

I’ll be practicing what I preach from now on.

Here we go again

This time last week today was going to be a normal day. Boy have things changed. I’ve already expended a million calories in nervous energy and I’ve only been up a couple of hours.

It all started about a month ago when I told Shaun that next year I want to move to a bigger house. In preparation for having a family we need a full section and 2 living areas. So last Sunday we decided to check out some open homes to see what’s around. Just to get the lay of the land, you understand.

Well, as is always the way, we fell in love with the first place we looked at. I suspected that it may be a bit out of our price range, but we decided (still as part of the ‘research’) to talk to our mortgage manager to see what sort of figures were going to be realistic. As it turns out, it wasn’t as unreachable as I had suspected. In fact, it turns out that we could afford to buy it and keep our current place as a rental property.

It would mean a bit of sensible money management (ie not quite so many new dresses and perhaps cutting my weekend benders down to one a month!) but still completely workable, even when we’re only on one income.

So… the auction is today at 11 and Shaun is going along to bid! And typically, no matter how much I promise myself that I won’t get excited about it, I’m just about jumping out of my skin.

So cross your fingers world… I want this house pretty bad.

Funny funny stuff

WordPress has a cool feature that lets you see what searches people made in order to find your blog. Over the last couple of months I have collected up some pretty hilarious ones. It sure does bring to light just how ridiculous some of the things I write about are.

Edit: I just had to add this one… Ponsonby maiden with 100 lovers. WTF??

Here are some of my favourites:

nose bleed after ironing
How unfortunate. I suggest you do what I do – have your husband do the ironing.

rabbit on leash pictures
That guy certainly came to the right place.

for anyone who loved before
I’m thinking that there are probably a fair few people who have loved before…

vibra train
Not particularly funny, but by far the most common search. Several every day and I only blogged about it once, early last year.

Build a strange & cut upper body in 12
Um, I’m not really sure what to say about this one.

behaviour – sulking
Hmmmm…. no comment.

animal noises from a hawk
Now this one I know quite a bit about, but I suspect I should keep it to myself.

claw stink
See, this one makes me nervous. Not only am I concerned about what the hell that person was looking for, I am wondering how on earth they showed up here. Claw stink? Sounds dirty.

how to reset your own nose
I cannot recommend against this strongly enough.

NZ Christmas Bush
I love this one.

smile like nobody’s watching
One has to ask what the hell is the point in smiling then? Practice perhaps?

And my number 1 favourite:
Does Judo make acne worse?
Interesting question. If I had acne I would certainly be suspicious of Judo as one of the causes.