Hazy days (daze?)

Phase 1 of the holiday completed… I have just stepped off the plane from Riversdale (via Wellington) and am doing a quick repack before jumping in the car and heading up north. My liver is in a whole world of trouble and things are only going to get worse… the car is packed full of frozen margarita mix.

Every day so far has consisted of getting up, eating, sitting in the sun, eating, sleeping, drinking, drinking, drinking, sitting in the sun, eating, more drinking and then sleeping. I love summer.

I have spent too much time in the sun though. Every year I swear that I won’t… but I’m a kiwi… it’s what we do.

Anyway… that’s it for this installment, it’s holidays. I’m off to the beach to do some more drinking.

Back in 2006…

It’s been great, but I’m glad I’ll never see you again…

…2005.

It feels like it’s taken forever, but my working year has finally reached an end.

It has been a big year… I changed jobs (from Information Analyst to Application Developer), redeveloped our website, learnt how to program in .NET, built my first 2 applications and finally handed in the spec that I have been procrastinating over for so long.

It has been a long time since I did so much learning, so while it has been exhausting, I’ve loved (just about) every minute of it.

Anyway, I’m removing myself from in front of the screen for a couple of weeks. I’m back on January 9th, so posting will be sporadic until then.

Enjoy your Christmas (if you celebrate it), your summer holiday (if you live in my hemisphere), your NY celebrations, or whatever this time of year means in your world.

Next year’s going to be spectacular… stay tuned.

BAM!

Yesterday someone used the word BAM to describe the way I’ve come into his life. I haven’t known him long at all, so I don’t know if BAM is a good thing or not.

It got me thinking though. As the holidays have been approaching, I have been getting completely out of control. I don’t know whether it’s over-excitement because I love this time of year, or whether I’ve just lost sight of rational behaviour, but I know that there’s a lot of BAM in me at the moment, and I probably just need to slow down a bit.

I know from previous experience that when I start to live like a whirlwind, I inevitably end up breaking things. Or people. Or me.

The copious amounts of alcohol that I am ingesting on a daily basis are no doubt a contributing factor, but I am doing and saying things that I wouldn’t normally do or say. I am not even stopping to breathe.

So… I’m going to take some time out to regroup over the holidays. No doubt there will be bad behaviour on occasion, but I’m putting the brakes on a bit.

Apologies to anyone I’ve been BAMming, it’s just that life is so much fun…

I’m so healthy it’s sickening.

Something amazing has happened this week. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that something hasn’t happened this week. I’m not sick and it’s wonderful!

For the last 2 years, without fail, if I party all night I get a cold within 3 days. It happens every time. I know it happens, but I choose to ignore it. Life’s too short and all that… My friends berate me for not looking after myself. My doctor warns me that I’m cumulatively damaging my already impaired immune system. My mother warns me of the seizure that I’m just asking to have.

I get about 10 colds a year, and at least 2 flus. I’ve become resigned to it. I stay home for 2 days and sleep, take a week off the gym, and then I’m back on top of things.

Anyway, last weekend was a big one. I wasn’t sensible at all. But for some reason… no cold!

I don’t know why that is, but it’s fair to say that I’m pretty pleased about it!

What have I become?

This year I have spent a lot of time introspecting. It has been an interesting year for me. It has been a year of learning and developing. It has been a year of helping others. It has been a year of teaching myself not to judge, no matter how frustrating someone else’s behaviour may be.

At Youthline there is a school of thought that says it is easy to ignore the feedback that we get from one person, but if you hear the same thing from 3 or 4 people you should stand up and take notice.

I have changed a lot this year. I think I have achieved more personal growth than ever before. It has made me wonder how those around me view me. I decided to ask them. I think I’ll do it each year and see how it changes.

**Note: At this point I went and asked them. My whole plan backfired really because no one gave me negative feedback (I guess they were too scared!!). I have decided to post it anyway because it makes me feel so damn good about myself! I recommend this exercise to everyone.

Fiance
Sarah is an energetic, loving, friendly & motivated person.
She has no boundaries when it comes to helping others.

Best friend
Sarah is fun in the goodtimes and supportive and caring in the bad times. She is gregarious and manages to strike just the right balance between silliness, sensibility and sensibleness (well most of the time anyway).

Dad
Loveable, happy, smiley, efficient, reliable, dependable

Mum
Sarah is a very intelligent woman with high standards and strong values and views on the world. She is empathetic, caring and generous to a fault as well as being practical, efficient and well organised.

Sister
Sarah is a committed person; be it to a work task or her personal life. She is reliable, thoughtful and caring. She has strong values, yet remains open to new ideas, and always sees the lighter side of life. She may need to consider slowing down and taking care of herself a bit better and working on her patience.

Best girlfriend
Sarah is a highly organised perfectionist, who is always on the go. Sarah takes everything to the extreme and lives life to the fullest. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her or the outcome of her actions (but not in a bad way).

Loyalty and friendship are paramount to Sarah, once you are a friend you are a friend for life, she will always be there when you need her and will never forget anything that is important to you.

Brother in Law
You are full of energy, organised, vivacious, the life of the party. You often like to be the centre of attention, mostly for the enjoyment of others. You are very thoughtful, unselfish, extremely loyal and family orientated. You are highly intelligent and possess huge creative potential. You have an intense drive to get things done properly. Sometimes that single minded drive overwhelms your true nature and balance can be lost.

You are very determined, courageous, competitive and you posses the ability to manipulate people and situations. With all this in mind I believe you haven’t actually got close to reaching your potential in terms of what you truly want to do. An interesting thought if you agree that the best is yet to come and you have the ability to decide what you actually want to achieve.

Workmate
Intelligent, loyal, trustworthy, friendly, direct, fun, opinionated, respected

Life’s a (series of) beach(es).

Next week summer holidays start. I love this time of year more than any other. New Zealanders become nomadic once the sun comes out. Every year we plan summer pilgrimages to beaches all over the country (which, in a country the size of ours, with as many beaches as we have, can involve quite a bit of planning!!).

This year, my summer holiday is going to involve 3 beaches. It is a trip that will start in the middle of the North Island, travel right to the bottom, and then up to the very top. I am doing some flying – the roads just get too damn hot at this time of year.

After celebrating Christmas breakfast and lunch with my family, I am packing up and flying down the the beautiful Wairarapa where I will spend 5 days eating crayfish at Riversdale. Bring it on…

Then, after an hour’s flight and a brief stop at home to stock up on cold beer and more books, we’ll hit the road and head up north to Langs. That is a two hour drive and is destination New Year. I’m planning a big one this year. Very big. The same group of friends have been nagging me to spend it with them for years, so this year I’m going to blow them out of the water.

Provided I come out the other side of NY intact, the final phase of the plan is Taipa. Taipa is another 2 hours further up the country from Langs, and it is the beach of my childhood. This year will be the 27th summer holiday I have had on its golden sand. There are trees growing up there that have my baby teeth buried somewhere in their roots.

So that’s summer for me and it’s call is strong…

Uh oh, I seem to have lost something important…

…my mind.

I am sitting at my desk, still working on the dreaded spec that I have moaned about in the past. Because I have such severe brain damage as a result of friday night, I thought perhaps I’d just do some proof reading. Great in theory… but as I started reading, I had all these ideas for changing things around. I’ve added in words, I’ve cut out huge chunks of text, I’ve even done a bit of table redesigning. What the hell am I thinking???

I went to get some water, and when I came back I started reading again. I was clearly reading the work that I had done this morning, because it makes no sense at all! The sentences don’t even have any punctuation in them!

Now I just seem to be reading the same stuff over and over again. I should apologise right now for even attempting to write in my blog! It is lucky I didn’t come in today and decide to do programming…

Now I’ve had a Red Bull and things are even more hilarious. I am rewriting things twice as fast as before. The slightly annoying downside is that it has given me a severe caffiene headache. I have figured out that if I look at my screen like it’s one of those Magic Eye puzzles (where you focus about a foot behind the picture) it doesn’t hurt so much. Usually this would be a problem because it would mean I couldn’t read what I am writing, but today that doesn’t seem to be an issue.

I don’t think that reading it would make the slightest bit of difference…

I’m not really keeping it together…

Today really hurts. We had our office christmas party last night. I got home just before midday today. I sure drank a lot of tequila for someone who knows they shouldn’t drink tequila! I remember all the embarrassing things I did with horrible clarity. There was the lip-synching performance, the game of bullrush that I instigated… need I go on?

I think I still have a job though, so it was worth it.

You’re the man.

There are a lot of men in my life. I like it that way. There is, however, one man that means more to me than pretty much anyone else in the world.

Dad.

I know that most people love their dads, but mine is truly phenomenal. He is the most amazing person I know. He is a crazy blend of adult and child. Lawyer by day, inventer of the most ridiculous games in the world by night. He has this sense of humour that is incredible. He manages to make just about everything funny.

Dad is also the most honest, loyal and down to earth guy. On the flip side, he is the worst handiman on the face of the earth. Every kitset he puts together seems to finish up with ’spare parts’. When I was 5 he decided to screw some rechargable appliances to the wall in the kitchen. Because he didn’t know where the wiring was, I had to stand beside him with gumboots on my hands in case he got electrocuted. My job was to push him off the current. Yeah right…

When I got sick and couldn’t drive for a year, dad would show up at my house any time of the night or day to take me places. He never questioned the importance of the place I was going. If it was important to me, it was important to him.

He has this superhero alter ego called The Pink Shirted Intruder. It doesn’t really do anything except jump around in a pink shirt being annoying.

When I was younger I remember mum telling me that if someone didn’t like dad, then they’re not worth knowing. I have yet to meet someone that doesn’t like him.

Dad has one fault that I can think of (aside from the handiman issues). He is a terrible judge of character. He likes everyone.

I can honestly say that if I have inherited just half of dad’s love of life, his optimism, his sense of humour and his generosity of love, then I’m set for life.

I love you dad. You’re my hero.

Throwing my weight around.

When I was 5 my parents sent me to ballet class. As coordination wasn’t something I was known for, they weren’t sure how long I’d last. I was the kid that went left when all the others went right. I was also the kid that didn’t have a proper leotard. I was doomed from the start. I just didn’t look like the others in my matching singlet and undies. I guess mum and dad knew it wasn’t a goer, because they said I could get the right gear after 5 lessons. I lasted 2.

Similar experiences followed with modern dance and jazz ballet. I was the kid that danced around in the background playing the part of the monster in the show. Still, mum and dad always came and cheered for me.

One day, in an act of altruism, they told me that they suspected I would be better at judo. They were right.

(Not me…)

Oh how I loved judo. Suddenly I became coordinated. I couldn’t wait for tuesdays and thursdays so that I could get my suit on and head out for a couple of hours of fighting!!! It was hard work but it was rewarding. When I was 16, I decided to compete. I got a bit of a shock…

I had never really noticed up until that time that I was the only girl. The boys treated me the same, and we just took gender for granted. In the whole time I trained, I had never fought another female.

So competition day dawned and I headed down for my weigh in. I was pretty small – 47kgs. It wasn’t until the draw was posted that I realised there was only one category for women – Open Weight. I wasn’t concerned… my coach had faith in me. He was running me through my warm up when my opponent stepped up to the mat. I stopped breathing for several minutes. Or maybe time just stopped.

She was a behemoth. Honestly. She must have weighed about 80kg, and not much of that was muscle. Anyway… the beauty of judo is that if you have the skill, you can use that to your advantage. Plus, she was only a yellow belt. Still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t absolutely crapping myself.

As soon as the ref called hajime (start) I knew I was in trouble. She kind of galloped towards me with her head down. I stepped in for a basic hip throw – no point. She just charged me down. After some ne-waza (floor wrestling) that looked like some kind of cruel WWF joke, we got up again. At this stage it became apparent that my best bet was to tire her out. I bounced around the mat, attempting to sweep her legs. Just before her impending heart attack she picked me up, swung me round and threw herself onto the mat on top of me.

There was a popping sound, then I passed out. I woke up several seconds later to find my nose flattened across my face and my coach dragging me off the mat. Most people would find this excrutiating. It was not the first time it had happened to my nose (in fact, it wasn’t the second time either – but that’s another post) so I was more irritated that I couldn’t breath. Especially when they sent me back on…! (There was no such thing as a blood bin in those days).

Needless to say, it didn’t go on for long.

The fight was called off. My first competition match.

I never went in another competition again.